Esther Sandoval: Pista Ruth
Pista – that was her abuela’s doing. A nickname turned legal, a word meaning "party" or "good time" in Spanish. Abuela had looked at the squalling, red-faced infant and declared, "This one will laugh when others cry. She will dance on the graves of sorrows." And so, Pista. The joy-bringer.
Growing up, Pista tried to be all three. At school, she was the funny one, the class clown who made the other kids laugh so they wouldn't notice her thrift-store clothes. Pista . At home, she translated for her mother, signed the lease, argued with the landlord, held the family together when the money ran out. Ruth . And on the nights she couldn't sleep, she wrote in her diary: They don't know who I really am. But one day, they will. Esther . Pista ruth esther sandoval
She went home and called her mother. "Mama," she said. "Tell me again about Ruth." Pista – that was her abuela’s doing
Her mother laughed. "You know the story, mija ." She will dance on the graves of sorrows
She lit a candle. She said each name aloud, slow and deliberate.
By twenty-five, she was exhausted. The joy felt forced. The loyalty felt like a chain. The courage felt like a lie. She stopped answering to anything but "P." She cut her hair short. She moved to a town where no one knew her three names.
