Nixon Coffee Table Assembly Instructions (2024)

I was assembling the lower shelf. I had the bracket in one hand and the screw in the other. Everything was going smoothly. I looked down at my watch.

But here is the genius of the Nixon assembly method: nixon coffee table assembly instructions

Is it sturdy? No. Is it ethical? Probably not. Does it have a dark, polished finish that hides the stains of red sauce from last night's pizza? Absolutely. I was assembling the lower shelf

If the table stands firm? You have won the election. You pour a whiskey (or a ginger ale) and stare out the window at the Chesapeake Bay. After three hours, a lot of sweating, and one unconfirmed report of a stripped screw in the Southeast corner, the Nixon Coffee Table was built. I looked down at my watch

I have no memory of what happened during that time. Did I assemble it correctly? Did I strip the threading? The world may never know. I call it "plausible deniability." Step 7 is brutal. It tells you to flip the table over onto its feet.