Clicking it doesn’t open a submenu. Instead, the screen cuts to a ten-second clip of Dee falling off a barstool in slow motion, her arms flapping. Then it returns to the main menu, except now every character’s face has been replaced with a poorly photoshopped ostrich head.

For thirty seconds, nothing happens. Then, a shadow stumbles past the lens. It’s Mac, doing what looks like a slow-motion karate chop to a fly. He’s wearing a sleeveless duster and frowning at his own bicep. He disappears.

Here’s a short, atmospheric story built around the concept of an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia DVD menu.

The screen cuts to a new angle: the back office. Dennis is straightening a single paperclip. He adjusts it, tilts his head, then adjusts it again. His mouth moves, but no sound comes out—just a low, staticky hum. He freezes mid-adjust, eyes wide, as if he’s just realized the paperclip isn’t a five-star man.

Suddenly, a menu option highlights itself: . No one touched the remote. The cursor moves on its own, hovering over SCENES , then LANGUAGE , then finally landing on DELETED SCENES . A subtitle appears at the bottom of the screen: “You’ve been watching this menu for four minutes. We’re charging your credit card.” LOOP FOUR: THE SOUND