T | Insanity With Shaun

Leo pressed play.

It started as a dare. A stupid, late-night dare fueled by cheap energy drinks and the kind of hubris only a 22-year-old with a six-pack of abs already can possess. insanity with shaun t

By Week 2, I’d lost eight pounds and my sense of linear time. I showed up to my office job wearing only compression shorts and a headband. My boss asked for the quarterly report. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “I don’t do reports. I do ‘In-and-Out Abs.’ Go!” Leo pressed play

He put a hand on my shoulder. It weighed 400 pounds. “Insanity,” he said, “isn’t doing the same thing and expecting different results. Insanity is realizing you were never the one in control. I was. From the first Switch Kick. You didn’t buy a workout. You bought a possession.” By Week 2, I’d lost eight pounds and

Then the second exercise. Then the third. By the time we hit “Power Knees,” my marathon medal felt like a participation trophy from a different universe.

I didn’t care. I was in the Month 2 now. The “Max Interval Circuit.” Shaun T. had me doing “Level 3 Drills” which I’m pretty sure involved defying gravity. At one point, my left leg cramped so violently it kicked my right leg, and my right leg kicked back. I had a civil war in my own hamstrings.

I got to 73. My arms turned into cooked noodles. My soul tried to exit through my left ear. I collapsed, face-down on the yoga mat, and whispered, “I can’t.”