JENNA: Sir, if I may—our product is a “smart toaster” that sends passive-aggressive texts to users who burn their bagels. It has a 2% satisfaction rate. The actual problem is that no one in R&D can read above a third-grade level. I ran a literacy test.
A guard waddles in—wearing a motorcycle helmet and flip-flops. He tries to handcuff Jenna but handcuffs himself to the table. Jenna sighs. She leaves voluntarily.
CHAD: Literacy test? Is that an app? Can we monetize it? Idiocracia.avi
CHAD: (into the phone’s camera) Yeah, I’ll take a venti triple-foam latte with extra victory . No, cold. Make it angry.
Now playing. No refunds. No hope. No thinking required. JENNA: Sir, if I may—our product is a
He hangs up. The phone is actually a TV remote. He throws it across the room.
She stops. The door is ajar. Inside, a single projector whirs. I ran a literacy test
DR. FINCH: If you’re watching this… you’re the new smartest person alive. Congratulations. Try not to be alone. (He coughs.) And turn off the TV. It’s not babysitting you anymore. It’s burying you.