I hear her now. Mascara wand clicking. She’s taking her time. This isn’t makeup. This is psychological warfare.
Ten minutes. That’s how long she said. “Just give me ten minutes to finish my face.”
But here I am. Sweating through my nice shirt. The ring box in my jacket pocket feels like a live grenade. I rehearsed this. In the car. In the shower. At 3 a.m. staring at the ceiling. 10 Minutes While My Girlfriend-s Mother Is Doin...
I open my mouth.
And all I can say is: “I really like your foundation. Very dewy.” I hear her now
My girlfriend’s mother. Mary. Retired school principal. Keeps a list of “approved topics for male guests” in her head. Sports. Weather. Real estate. Nothing about emotions, careers that don’t involve a 401k, and definitely nothing about marrying her daughter.
But what if she asks me my five-year plan? What if she says, “You’re not good enough”? What if she laughs? What if she just keeps doing her eyeliner in terrifying silence? This isn’t makeup
If you're asking me to inspired by that concept — meaning a story, scene, or sketch that captures a similar tense, funny, or awkward short time span — I can do that.